How to Help an Alcoholic

It’s great that you want to show you care for a loved one struggling with alcohol use disorder (AUD) or alcohol abuse. A critical step to helping them is recognizing the signs and symptoms of alcohol abuse so you can offer the right support and guide them toward recovery.

In this article, we’ll provide you with fundamental information on how to help an alcoholic, from identifying the signs of alcohol use disorder to offering support through treatment and recovery.

What are the Signs of Someone with Addiction?

Alcohol abuse can manifest in various physical, behavioral, and psychological signs. Recognizing these signs early can help in seeking timely intervention and support.

Physical symptoms of AUD may include:

• Weight changes: People may experience significant weight loss or gain due to altered eating habits and metabolism changes associated with alcohol abuse.
• Poor hygiene: Neglecting personal grooming and hygiene is a common physical sign, often due to the prioritization of alcohol consumption over self-care.
• Bloodshot eyes: Persistent redness in the eyes can be a direct result of excessive alcohol consumption.
• Skin changes: Alcohol abuse can lead to a yellow skin tone due to jaundice, redness in the face, and increased sweating, particularly at night.
• Unsteady gait and coordination issues: Chronic alcohol use can impair motor skills, leading to unsteady movements and frequent unexplained bruises or scrapes.
• Gastrointestinal issues: Long-term alcohol use can cause erosive gastritis, leading to stomach pain and digestive problems.
• Neurological symptoms: Numbness and tingling in extremities can occur due to nerve damage from prolonged alcohol abuse.

Behavioral symptoms of AUD may include:

• Neglecting responsibilities: People may start neglecting their duties at work, school, or home, including childcare responsibilities.
• Social withdrawal: Alcohol abuse can lead to social isolation, where people withdraw from family and friends.
• Secretive behavior: Increased secrecy about activities and whereabouts is common, often to hide the extent of alcohol consumption.
• Legal and financial troubles: Frequent legal issues, such as DUIs, and financial problems due to spending on alcohol are common behavioral signs.
• Changes in social circles: Sudden changes in friends and social activities, often gravitating towards others who drink heavily.

Psychological symptoms of AUD may include:

• Mood swings: Frequent and unpredictable changes in mood, including irritability and anger outbursts.
• Anxiety and depression: Chronic alcohol use can worsen or lead to the development of anxiety and depression.
• Cognitive impairment: Long-term alcohol abuse can result in memory loss, learning difficulties, and in severe cases, conditions like Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome.
• Lack of motivation: People may appear tired, unmotivated, or ‘spaced out’ due to the depressive effects of alcohol.
• Paranoia and fearfulness: Unexplained fear, anxiety, or paranoia can be a psychological sign of alcohol abuse.

It’s important to note that alcohol abuse exists on a spectrum, and someone doesn’t need to show all of these signs to have a problem. Even a few of these symptoms could indicate an unhealthy relationship with alcohol that may require professional help.

If you’re concerned about yourself or a loved one, it’s best to consult a healthcare provider or addiction specialist for a proper evaluation and guidance on the next steps.

How to Approach Someone Struggling with Alcoholism

Approaching a loved one about their alcohol use can be a delicate and challenging task. While you can’t control the outcome, preparing for the conversation can have a significant impact on having a productive talk.

Before initiating a conversation, it is crucial to educate yourself about alcoholism. Understand the nature of alcohol use disorder (AUD) as a medical condition⁠—not a personal weakness. Acknowledging this can shape a more supportive and effective dialogue.

Here are our other recommendations to prepare for the conversation:

• Pick an appropriate time and place for the conversation.
• Ensure that both of you are calm and free from distractions.
• Avoid times when the person is intoxicated or when there are potential interruptions.
• A private, quiet setting can facilitate a more open and honest discussion

What to Say and What Not to Say

Avoid blaming or shaming the person, as this can lead to defensiveness and resistance. Instead, focus on expressing your concerns with empathy and understanding.

Be specific about your concerns and provide concrete examples of how their drinking has affected you and others. Remember to emphasize that you are there to help and that professional treatment options are available.

Instead, use “I” statements to express how their behavior impacts you. For example, say “I feel worried when you drink because…” rather than “You always drink too much.” This approach can help reduce defensiveness and promote a more constructive dialogue.

Why is Empathy and Non-Judgmental Language Important?

Empathy is crucial when discussing sensitive issues like alcohol abuse. It shows that you understand their struggles and are there to support them without judgment. 

Acknowledge their feelings and experiences, and be patient as they process the conversation. Let the person know that you can help them through their journey.

We suggest offering to assist in finding treatment options and being there to support them in setting and achieving their goals. Working together to create a plan can provide a sense of partnership and encouragement.

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How to Provide Support to Your Loved One

It can be tough to watch someone you care about go through AUD, and you might wonder how to best help. Here are some ways to be a strong support system:

1. Active Listening

Active listening is a cornerstone of emotional support. It involves fully engaging with the speaker, understanding their perspective, and responding thoughtfully.

• Engage fully: Give your undivided attention to the person speaking. Minimize distractions, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting.
• Body language: Use open body language to show attentiveness. Face the speaker directly and maintain an open posture.
• Paraphrase and validate: Repeat the speaker’s main points in your own words to demonstrate understanding and validate their feelings.
• Ask open-ended questions: Encourage deeper conversation by asking questions that allow the speaker to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings.
• Be patient: Allow the speaker adequate time to express themselves without rushing them.

2. Recommend Healthy Activities

Supporting someone in recovery goes beyond emotional support. Encouraging healthy habits plays a vital role in their well-being.

These include regular exercise, getting a good night’s sleep, and eating a balanced diet. These habits not only improve overall health but also provide a strong foundation for recovery.

Participating in these activities together can help show your love and reinforce the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Going for walks, cooking nutritious meals, or trying a new yoga class are all great ways to bond while promoting healthy habits.

3. Practical Ways to Give Support

When you give practical help, you can reduce some of the stress and burden from your loved one. Helping with daily tasks such as household chores, grocery shopping, or childcare can allow them to focus more on their recovery.

4. Encourage Professional Help

Assist in finding appropriate treatment programs, therapists, or support groups. Providing information and resources can make the process less overwhelming.

Acknowledge and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and motivation. Keep in mind that recovery can be a life-long process so be ready to offer ongoing support and encouragement.

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Treatment Options for Alcoholism

Encouraging your loved one to obtain treatment is a huge step towards sobriety. Some effective treatment approaches include:

• Inpatient treatment: Ideal for those needing intensive support and supervision. You’ll stay at a facility for a set time, receiving therapy, medication management, and support groups in a structured environment.
• Outpatient treatment: Offers flexibility for those with stable home lives. You’ll attend treatment sessions regularly while living at home.
• Therapy: A crucial component of recovery. Different therapy styles exist, like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to change unhelpful patterns, or Motivational Enhancement Therapy (MET) to build your desire for change.
• Support groups: Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) provide a sense of community and ongoing support from others in recovery.
• Medications: Some medications can help reduce cravings or block the pleasurable effects of alcohol. These medications work best when combined with other treatment options.

Factors to Consider When Selecting Treatment

Deciding on the best treatment program will be affected by a few important factors. First, a healthcare professional’s assessment of the severity of alcohol dependence will influence their recommended treatment.

They may suggest outpatient treatment for more manageable cases or inpatient care for those needing intensive support. Your loved one’s lifestyle and health insurance coverage will also be a big factor in the decision.

We recommend researching the specific treatment approaches different programs offer, including therapies and support groups. Finding an approach that resonates with your loved one is crucial as personalized treatments are more effective for long-term sobriety.

Resources and Support Groups for Alcoholism Treatment

Here are some resources to help you navigate your options:

• SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
• NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator
• National Directory of Drug Abuse and Alcoholism Treatment and Prevention Programs
• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
• SMART Recovery
• Women for Sobriety

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