Reader Question: Supporting a Recovering Alcoholic Father

From Our Readers: My dad is a recovering alcoholic, and I’m worried that our family’s dysfunctional dynamics might trigger a relapse. How can we support his sobriety while also working on our own issues?

Wanting to build a healthy family dynamic while supporting your dad’s sobriety is a complicated situation—but it’s not impossible. 

Here’s a breakdown of some key strategies, along with resources that can help you:

Building a Healthy Home for Your Recovering Dad

Building a healthy family dynamic can help prevent stressful situations which may lead to a relapse. Here are a few things that might help you and your family:

• Family therapy: This can help address underlying family issues and improve healthy communication.
• Explore rehab options: It might be helpful to join a rehab program if your dad hasn’t completed one yet. It can address the addiction and provide tools for managing a life after treatment.
• Patience and encouragement: Be patient with your dad as he goes through recovery, but you should also be patient with other people in the family because change doesn’t happen overnight.
• Open communication: Create a safe space for honest conversations about the family’s hopes, needs, fears, and boundaries.
• Be sincere:  Be honest, respectful, and gentle while making sure you still try to accommodate difficult topics.
• Celebrate together: Acknowledge every family member’s achievements, no matter how small they are. 
• Focus on self-care:  It’s important to prioritize your mental and physical health, especially during a stressful situation.
• Boundaries: Setting boundaries isn’t about punishing someone but protecting your well-being. Having boundaries allows you to support your dad without enabling unhealthy behaviors.

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Understanding and Addressing Family Issues

Addiction often stems from trauma, unresolved issues, and even underlying psychological problems. Addressing these problems through therapy can be helpful for everyone in the family.

Having a family member with addiction can also lead to codependent behavior. This causes people to become overly reliant on others for their emotional or psychological needs. Recognizing codependent patterns can help you make healthy changes. 

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Finding Your Own Support

Helping your family navigate through addiction can be difficult, so you might want some help yourself. There are various ways to find your own support, including:

• Therapy 
• Al-Anon/Adult Children of Alcoholics
• National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) programs

You can also contact programs such as Drug Free or SAMHSA’s national helpline. These provide the knowledge and skills necessary for dealing with an addicted loved one.

Just remember, it’s not your responsibility to ‘fix’ your dad or your entire family. It’s good to take steps to create a healthy environment with open communication. But it’s also important to be kind to yourself.

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