What Happens When Daughters of Alcoholic Mothers Grow Up?
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How Does a Parental Alcoholism Affect Daughters?
Growing up with an alcoholic parent can greatly affect a child’s mental health. However, the repercussions vary based on the child’s gender.
Studies show that female children tend to experience more negative consequences when raised by someone with an alcohol use disorder (AUD), also known as alcoholism. They have a high risk of developing AUD and a higher risk of developing mania or a personality disorder.
The effects of exposure to a parent with alcoholism for daughters also vary based on whether it is the father or mother with AUD. Women with alcoholic fathers have a higher risk of becoming alcoholics, meanwhile, having an alcoholic mother increases the risk of mental health issues and substance abuse issues.
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What Happens When Daughters of Alcoholic Mothers Grow Up?
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Psychological Impact of Alcoholic Mothers on Daughters
Growing up with an alcoholic mother can leave deep and lasting scars. It can be a difficult situation due to complex emotions like love, frustration, and loss that many women carry into adulthood, affecting their relationships.
One of the most common struggles of being raised by an alcoholic is trust issues. The unpredictability of living with an alcoholic can create a sense of instability and insecurity, making it hard for daughters to trust others.
Others may develop a deep-seated fear of abandonment or cling to unhealthy relationships out of a misplaced sense of loyalty. They may have difficulties with intimacy and setting boundaries. Some may even find themselves drawn to partners with similar behaviors to their mothers.
Having an alcoholic mother can also affect their daughter’s self-worth. Many of them grow up internalizing feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy.
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Why Don’t Children of Alcoholics Outgrow The Effects?
Children are resilient, and many can bounce back after exposure to trauma early in their lives. However, growing up with an alcoholic parent is one of the most difficult challenges to overcome.
An adult child of an alcoholic never “outgrows” the effects of their parent’s disorder. This isn’t to say they can’t live a happy and fulfilling life. But children of alcoholic parents never know what it’s like to grow up in a non-alcoholic home.
For example, children of alcoholics tend to feel as though they never had a childhood of their own. They never experienced the carefree and safe feelings most people remember when they were children. In some cases, they take the adult role in their families.
Common Struggles of Growing Up with Alcoholic Parents
Children raised by alcoholic parents often lack supervision and the freedom to play, create, and explore. Often they feel unsafe, and in some cases, they might be subjected to emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.
Throughout their childhood, they may feel unsupported and discouraged. This is a difficult realization for many children of alcoholics, and many struggle to make sense of their early lives and why their parents did what they did.
Many daughters of alcoholics also grow up believing they did something to cause their parent’s substance use disorder. This is never true, but even if a child grows into an adult who understands this, many still struggle with guilt and shame.
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How to Cope with an Alcoholic Parent
Growing up with an alcoholic mother can feel overwhelming. However, there are a few things you can do to manage your mental health and protect your well-being.
This includes:
- Seeking professional help
- Joining a support group
- Practice self-care
- Learn to set healthy boundaries
- Educate yourself about addiction
- Focus on your own growth and goals
Support Groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics
Many support groups offer an opportunity for daughters of alcoholics to interact with their peers and get guidance from addiction and family therapy experts. For example:
- Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA): A 12-step program that helps children with alcoholic parents recover and heal from abuse, trauma, and neglect.
- Families Anonymous: A 12-step program for people in families or loved ones with a substance abuse problem.
- Al-Anon: A 12-step program that helps those with an alcoholic loved one who want to set healthy boundaries and want to prioritize their well-being.
- Al-Ateen: Similar to Al-Anon but made for younger people or teenagers. The group is open to anyone who cares about an addicted person.
How to Find Help for Alcoholic Parents
Helping an alcoholic parent recover is both challenging and rewarding. If the daughter of an alcoholic parent chooses to help her mother or father seek treatment, there are many options available:
- Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
- Individual therapy
- Group counseling
- Co-occurring diagnosis treatment
They can also try an outpatient or inpatient treatment program. Outpatient programs provide treatment for parents who can’t devote their time to 24-hour treatment. Meanwhile, inpatient programs offer round-the-clock medical support and supervision.
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- “Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help | National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).” Nih.Gov, 2017.
- National Institute on Drug Abuse. “Principles of Effective Treatment.” Drugabuse.Gov, 2018.
- Omkarappa DB. & Rentala S. “Anxiety, depression, self-esteem among children of alcoholic and nonalcoholic parents.” J Family Med Prim Care, 2019.
- Johnsen et al. “Adult Daughters of Alcoholic Parents-A Qualitative Study of These Women’s Pregnancy Experiences and the Potential Implications for Antenatal Care Provision.” Int J Environ Res Public Health, 2022.
- Haugland et al. “Associations between parental alcohol problems in childhood and adversities during childhood and later adulthood: a cross-sectional study of 28047 adults from the general population.” Subst Abuse Treat Prev Policy, 2021.
- Hagström AS. “Childhood narratives about the experience of growing up with alcoholic parents.” Nordic Studies on Alcohol and Drug, 2019.
